Tuesday, 26 February 2013

On Suicide, Self-Worth, and Idolising the Dead.

So I just stumbled on a bunch of 'tribute' videos made by parents and relatives of kids who killed themselves over bullying. All they smell like to me is guilt.

If those whose responsibility it is to raise these kids to love themselves can't make their voices louder than those of the vile and insecure little sawn-off shits in the school, then they should feel guilty.

In the latest one I saw, (and no it isn't Amanda Todd) the girl had a boyfriend, friends, a loving family (if you believe the uncle who made the video), and yet...nobody picked up on her depression. In the video there's a line that goes "she began to believe what others told her." What others? The boy who kept calling her ugly even after the kinks and awkwardness of her puberty faded? Objectively speaking she turned out to be quite beautiful. Why is it clear to me that this kid was just insecure and intimidated by her? Why is it that she believed what this horrid  little bastard said to her but none of her family and friends could provide even a counterpoint? Either her family are ignorant, or the girl was a good enough bullshit artist to hide her pain. Probably both. And really, suicide is the fault of the person who did it, nobody else's.

When I'm a teacher and I am responsible for the development of kids who are being victimised and bullied, Instead of making emo YouTube tribute videos, I'd do my best to pick up on it and/or be approachable enough to help them.

What very few people seem courageous enough to get their heads around is how insecure EVERY HUMAN BEING ON THE PLANET IS and that this is why the bullies are bullying, and why the victim is choosing to be victimised.

The challenge is to know who they are and that creation doesn't make mistakes - feeling worthless is the most arrogant and self-indulgent thing we humans do. When you feel worthless you basically say "Everything in the universe is in harmony, happy in its proper appointed place, EXCEPT FOR ME...look at me I am the only thing in all of creation that doesn't fit, LOOK AT ME. I throw the gift of life, love, and liberty, back in your face; fuck you, life, and all who love me." Nature, the universe, creation, evolution, whatever you want to call it, doesn't make mistakes, and so if you didn't deserve to exist, then you wouldn't. Simple as that. I can tell her she's wonderful (because she is), the snot nosed bastard who knows he'll never get to have sex with her, and that's why he treats her like dirt. She's the one who decides what to do with that, because the only person in the universe who can make the decision in the end about her worth is...her

That is the approach to take. It's called reality. When you see it for what it is then you can change it, rather than become victimised by it. And maybe if she wound up dead, then it's a lesson to the parents and teachers on how to do better next time - and maybe, just maybe, the girl made her choice and chose not to exist. Like I said, reality doesn't make mistakes.

This seems like a much better option than these post-mortem YouTube tributes idolising the dead, glorifying your own guilt and grief, and pushing for more 'awareness' and 'suicide prevention hotlines, laws and measures.' Worshipping dead teenage girls and expecting dem gubbamint to step in and do something won't absolve you or fix anything.

In closing, stop idolising the cowardly corpses of white, western teenage girls, and start engaging with all of the people who are still here. Take responsibility. Be aware yourself. Prevent it yourself. Love your kids enough to know them. It's your child/student, your damn responsibility. And I figured this out without letting a young person under my care die first.

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