Things I say

 There exists a depth of feeling that most people can never understand. This is because they have never felt, seen, heard, touched, tasted or smelled such raw and impenetrable darkness. But to those, like me, who have, I say this: your potential for beauty, power, inspiration and light, is directly proportional to your affinity for the dark. And what you decide to do every moment determines whether you rise or fall.
   If you use the word 'totes,' instead of 'totally;' if you utter the words 'lol' or 'rofl' from your mouth, you shouldn't be breeding.
The psychological safety of your children should never be traded in for a victory in a testosterone spraying war that you spent all afternoon waging...a real man puts his kids first and protects them. Should never ever make them terrorised pawns in his own psychological guerilla campaigns.
I've made out with enough guys to have figured out I'm not gay. 
Everyone's entitled to an opinion...unfortunately.
So apparently I'm six months pregnant with a half-Thai ladyboy baby, and if you eat too many pizzas and hot dogs, you will become American.

I love my year 7's  
You know, now that I think about it, why exactly *did* the Christian Churches, back when they had the power to do so, execute literally everyone they a) couldn't convert and b) could get their hands, stakes, inquisitorial 'rods' and other implements of purification, on...and in?

Surely not for the same reason the dark hegemony of Jesus' own day murdered him?

... :O
 It's kind of weird how it works here, but it does: you can't actually engage your students at all unless you do it through positivity and laughter. The ability to have *FUN* and *ENJOY* creating and sharing that fun with hundreds of the cutest children ever, is pretty much all there is to this job.

If a western-education-system-trained drone (like the dictatorial dumbasses who gave me such trouble last semester) came out here, well...there would be blood on the floor and they wouldn't even know it was theirs.

But they would still write a paper about it.
There comes a point when the entertainment value of stupid people is no longer worth the headaches they cause you...
It is the winter solstice today. The day when people would, historically, celebrate the fact that they had survived half the winter, from the days when winter was something to be survived. Today we have different battles, protracted sieges and bitter contests. It's the shortest and darkest day of the year, but - or maybe because of this - it is the day when we look ahead and celebrates our will to endure, to survive, and to live to see the dawn of spring.
My body is screaming profane protest at every other part of me that refuses to let it sleep  
Memories are outside of time, and transcend linearity. Memories are perfect and stand alone as such. 
So my GPA dropped from 5.9 to 5.0 from failing 3 classes last semester...but the integrity that compelled me not to suck my lecturers' egos at the expense of my own beliefs, heartfelt, academic, and otherwise, impressed the hell out of a random Englishman in China, who proceeded therefore to immediately offer me a job. Now, I earn as much as any doctor, lawyer, or successful small business owner does in this country - I'll be on six figures in my 2nd year here. And what do I do to earn this? Ok, literally the only thing I do to earn this, is through simply being my genuine, happy-go-lucky, caring, intelligent, magnificent self, be the happiest, most reliable, brightest and best hour, every week, in the lives of over a thousand amazing children. Their smiles would be payment enough...the money is just an added bonus.

And this, my dear friends and family, is how I know the only truth everybody ever needs to know in life:

I am exactly where I'm supposed to be.
New media are not extensions or amplifications of older ones. A car is not just a fast horse, nor a lightbulb a powerful candle. The Internet does not extend or amplify literate culture. It attacks it in the Senate House.

If it is a continuation of anything it is of the destructive work of C19 and 20's telegraph, photograph and television, and not that of the printing press of C15.

Literate culture has been dying the death of a thousand cuts for half as many years. And the internet's name, in this extended metaphor, is Marcus Junius Brutus.
Lol one of my grade 10 students started a conversation with me tonight, demanding to know where in hell the photo of her and I together was. I squirmingly explained to her that the photographer of that day, my TA Joy, had forgotten to send it to me and I've been hounding her ever since to email it to me.

All of which is true, the point of this status is to express my surprise, amusement and humility in realising what I mean to my students and that they will never, in fact, let you off the hook.
"Dude what you're asking of that ignoramus is akin to asking a lemur to tell you what 2+2 is, only this is much much worse." 
"Looking for a date? Our singles can't wait!"

If they can't wait then they have no patience or, as the Chinese would say, no psychological strength, and I don't want to date them...
Cloud Atlas, in book, movie, and even sextet format, is the most...perfect...exploration of human nature that I've ever experienced, outside what I see when I look into the eyes of a true friend. 

Ibuprofen and vodka - for when you are so desperate to wake up feeling refreshed that you don't mind if your heart stops before you do!
 Libraries in TAFEs are like bibles in whorehouses.
Every soul deserves safe conduct: nothing more, nothing less. Everyone who has more must share share share with everyone who has less until every single living soul has it. And then, my brothers and sisters, we will have not only peace on earth and mercy mild, but indeed, God and sinners reconciled, and indeed, we shall have heaven on earth. Heaven doesn't exist anywhere else, and to completely shatter your world with truth, I must tell you now that so far, it never *has*'s up to us to create it and this is the only way we can do it. And we have to do it together. And we have to do it soon.
"Learn to love the silence. It's not the calm before the storm, no more the dark and sinister herald of destruction. It is the opposite. It is beauty and tranquility. It is golden. And, for all I know, half of life happens there."
Agricultural Economics 101:

1. Grow the food
2. Eat the food
3. Sell the food to people who don't know how to grow food...if you feel generous
4. ????
I think some of the best experiences in life start when people's talents outpace their confidence in themselves.
Circumcision can't be all THAT bad for your sex life - the Jews are still here, aren't they?
Service without choice and love is evil.
Humans are not animals, we are something much more, not in the least because we can sit here and say that - more of us need to start acting like it, I think. Women falling madly in love with douchebags deserve everything that they get. Except for the single parent welfare cheques.
When you invalidate something, all your energy goes into suppressing its validity, and so because that's what you're focusing on, then that's what you will get.
We overly complicate and confuse ourselves with all this nonsense. The simple fundamentals have been lost in the sea of sophistry and stupidity.
Ahh, gotta love (the majority of) religious people. You can present them with the truth, and facts, and politeness, and civility, all day, and they will always hurl the first insult, throw the first tantrum and all the while nothing you ever say will change their minds about anything. And they'll still think they're right.
That bloody Kony video is just another symptom of the problem. It is in fact one of the worst symptoms/manifestations of it: not only because it masquerades as a solution, but the extent to which it pulls this off is the extent to which it aggravates the problem.
Attention misguided, homophobic, discriminatory religious people - marriage was NOT YOUR IDEA, and it is NOT YOUR PLACE to dictate to ANYBODY BUT YOURSELF who they may or may not love. So sit down and shut up. Thanks.
Why is it that people always explain animal behaviour by human standards? It should be the other way around.
Everyone is capable of all kinds of behaviour. We are who we choose to be every day and that often means we're fuckwits.
This obsession with searching for meaning we seem to have comes at the direct expense of our finding the truth.
If second hand smoking is bad for your health then I am going to die very young and very, very happy.
You remind me of fast food, because I want to take you out...
...and then I want to eat you in my car.

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